Let’s be honest friendly reminders are never ‘friendly’ are they.
That part of the bread that sticks out of the toaster and doesn’t even get toasted it just becomes slightly warm and no just no
Brother walks into my room : Lt me crack this egg on your forehead please?
Me: Why would I EVER agree to that?
Brother : Mum said you have to.
Me: Yeah, I can totally believe mum said,’ Go on, I give you permission to crack this egg on your sisters massive forehead.’
I let him crack it on my foot in the end, but you know.
- Teacher : You Need to get this homework done by tomorrow everyone
- Me: No, I don't NEED to get this homework done, I HAVE to. Children in Africa NEED water, I don't NEED to do get this homework done.
- Teacher: ...
There was an advert on tv and it said -”Happiness lies in the scoop of a spoon.”
Why do dogs stop in the street every time they see another dog like imagine if humans just stopped everytime they saw another humana nd started sniffing each other noses
Calling my Laptop a useless piece of shit, but only after I put my hands over its speakers so it can’t hear me.
I was eating popcorn and my sisteer put loads of those little white polysterene balls in the popcorn bowl and they even have the same feel of popcorns so I ate loads until I realised I was eating half popcorn and half polysterene.
My handwriting at the start of an essay and at the end of the essay are that of two very different people
Omfg. Just realised Bats are evil because if you spell Bats backwards its stab.
Sometimes I accidently put a ; instead of : and it makes everything look so flirty like even if I type the same thing out it makes such a huge difference :
Hey sexy ;)
I mean what a difference a wink makes eh.
Does anyone else sit in their bath and think like ’ wow this must be an ocean for an ant ’ or is this just me
You know you’re on tumblr too much when something funny happens in real life and the first thing that comes to your head is ’ This is going to make a great text post ‘
Shoutout to my neighbours, whose wi-fi I’m using right now since Mine has decided to stop working. God bless you for not protecting it with a password, you idiots.